Category: Funicular/Bunicular

Sometimes I am a Bit of a Blabber Mouth

sometimes I am a bit of a blabber mouth

Sometimes I am a bit of a blabber mouth and tell people things that would be better left unsaid. Just the other day my chops ran off without me and I ended up telling a secret which would have been best left buried in my burrow.

Oh boy – did I suffer the consequence of my errant indiscretion!

king george the oracle bunny

I was quietly sitting in my library perusing the pages of Rampant Rabbits when Lord Repeat-All came in and, before I knew what I was doing, I had told him about the time, when young, that I had lied to cook about stealing her pumpkin pie. This was an innocent enough tale recounted in jest but sadly it was repeated to cook who, now rather elderly, is grumpy and somewhat past her sell by date! That said, I indulge her for she makes the most magnificent meringues with raspberry leaf coulis and was always a cheery egg before she slid on a custard tart and slipped a disc.

Anyway, true to form, it would appear, Lord Repeat-All hopped by the palace kitchen and without malice shared my pernicious, pumpkin parlé with cook; for, that evening, instead of my favourite asparagus tips I was served an undignified mushy mound of over boiled, pungent sprouts which smelt like a garbage patch on an extremely hot day!

 

And so: I counsel you not to let your lips run away with you; for often tales told in confidence can land you in hot water or worse be used against you in spite.

We are each given two eyes, two ears and one mouth and would be wise to use them in that proportion. A silly fellow, with enormous auditory appendages, you would think that I would learn to heed my own advice for, my subjects, I truly do detest brussel sprouts – and felt liverish for a week after cook’s evil revenge!

sometimes I am a bit of a blabber mouth

 

Hey how ’bout giving this post HERE the once over?!

Or for the more serious amongst us – Hop on over HERE…

donation

If I, King George, were singing on a street corner would you toss me a few coins for my effort? And now I ask you this rhetorical question – what is the difference between a singer and online content creator except the means of expression? Your patronage is most welcome. xox

 

The Enlightened Life

the enlightened life

I, King George, am like most of my bunny compatriots; long eared, twitchy nosed, partial to a fun-some binky and living the enlightened life!

Have you ever stopped and observed furry, feathered, scaly, shelled or chitin backed – winged delights and realised how simple their natural way of being, ‘lives’, actually are? The cow chews the cud languorously with no concept of time or deadline. The bee buzzes about its business and bunnies follow the natural rhythm of tide and moon. Things only got complicated when man, in his erroneous, arrogant wisdom decided to fix a system that was not broke!

It is very easy to take things for granted and forget to be grateful.

Please, don’t get me wrong for man is my most favourite, skin coated species; and I enjoy many of his peculiarities – including Netflix and popcorn on a wet Sunday afternoon! Yet I tell you, my subjects, to look towards nature and the animal kingdom if you wish to live a simpler life. For we ‘lesser creatures’ have much of value to share with those with a keen eye and sensibilities.

For instance: where or from whence do you think the fad of twerking originated and is it a coincidence that chickens come home to roost at dusk?

bunnies love bananas

Wanna read some more? Jump on over HERE?..

or,

should you fancy something a tad more serious take your floofy hot tail over HERE.

paypal donate

This work is my gift to my people but, King or not, I must replenish my coffers. And so, I invite you to show your appreciation by leaving a little something ~ from time to time; for everyone needs to live and, although a humble bunny, I have a liking for fresh asparagus tips with nutty sprinkles!

 

Nom Nom Nom

nom nom nom

Nom Nom Nom, I was dreaming of cotton candied cauliflower when rudely awakened by the door crashing open –

‘My Dear Fellow,’

my physician announced as he strode purposely into my bedchamber,

‘you really must desist from gnawing the lino and phone chargers – for not only are you incurring large repair bills but you are also endangering your skin!’

Alarmed I peered out from under my bedcovers and mumbled;

‘But I am King, and can do as I please!’

To which my physician replied, as he gingerly backed out of the room;

‘Tell that to Saint Peter when you arrive early at the pearly white gates, your stomach bloated and your fur all frizzy.’

Shamefaced I muttered something unrepeatable as I reached for my breakfast tray – a veritable smorgasbord of veggie delights with herbs, and a few ripe red flowers to add a little colour on a dreary morning.

As I ate, I made a mental note to withhold favour from my meddlesome medic. And to request that  ‘housekeeper’ arrange to keep the nuisance nibblies out of my reach – for I am weak willed and rather partial to plastic.

Breakfast finished, I turned over to continue to snooze but Queen Niddy had other ideas. Predictably, we ended up doing what bunnies are renown for and the day suddenly looked much brighter.

nom nom nom

Now, you might wonder why I share such intimate details of my life – and so I will explain: both diet and sex are important for a person to live a happy and healthy life and I have it from my mentor in the sky that God loves a fellow who enjoys his physical being and prowess and definately doesn’t frown upon ladies who likewise celebrate their womanhood.

I predict a few raised eyebrows for this shared truth, but truth it is, and so I command you, my subjects, to desist in judging those deemed licentious* and lighten up and make the most of your bodies for you are a long time dead in between reincarnations!

*I should caution that this applies to consenting adults only!

bunnies love bananas

Have time to read some more? Why not binky on over HERE?..

or,

should you fancy something a tad more serious take your floofy hot tail over HERE.

donation

When you see a street performer do you stop a while, enjoy the act, then toss a few coins into their hat by way of appreciation? If yes I invite you to think the same of my efforts here ~ for, whilst Royal, I have bills to pay and the hay man wants his dues this Friday!

Kick the Poop to Touch

Kick the poop to touch

There are several things about rabbits that many folks are unaware of. Most perceive us to be pliable, cute little floofers and would be surprised to hear that we are headstrong, stubborn and prone to bear a grudge. We are slow to kick the poop to touch! I, myself have a kingly penchant for holding on to slights as if they were a juicy raspberry to return to, and savour, time and time again! My personal adviser often advises me on the art of letting go and is dismayed that, despite the size of my auditory apparatus, I do not listen!

mustn't grumble

It can be all too easy to forget to be grateful… #gratitude #enlightenedliving

Just recently one of my Lords was rude to me and told me that my tail was inordinately long and actually an anomaly in the world of the Standard European Lepus. I swiftly rebuked him for his insolence but have since dwelt on his words; turning this way and that straining over my shoulder to see, in my mirror, if he is right.

Finding myself obsessed with his insult I eventually asked Queen Niddy;

‘Does my tail look big in this?!’

To which she harshly replied;

‘George, for goodness sake you are King and pay a princely sum to have a personal adviser who councils you to let go of things that do not serve your best interests. Lord Not-So-Kind is known for his nastiness and is jealous of your status and fine coat. He was simply being spiteful with his remark. Please, listen to me – even if you refuse to listen to your coach: let it go George and move on to more flowery fields for your tail is perfect just the way it is!’

Embarrassed, I now share my folly with you as a cautionary tale for, in life, there are many who wish to undermine and be mean to others. So, my people, we must not take to heart their nastiness which is designed to diminish our light. Rather we must confound them with our good grace and resilience and view them as little more than a pesky stinkbug on a hot day!

bunnies love bananas

Have time to read some more? Hop on over HERE…

or,

should you fancy something a tad more serious take your floofy hot tail over HERE.

donation

Whilst I might be King I have obligations to my staff whom do for me. I am vehemently against raising the tax burden on my subjects, and so I politely ask those that can afford to be generous to consider donating to my help keep the staff happy fund!

 

Bunnies Love Bananas

bunnies love bananas

Bunnies love Bananas is an amusing phrase that conjures up magical images of one slipping on a discarded peel and landing, softly, on their tail! It is also a quirky little alliteration which gives I, King George The Oracle Bunny, the opportunity to recount a story about this exotic fruit.

Are you sitting reasonably comfy? Then I will begin:

Many years ago, there was an explorer bunny called Sir Walter Rabbit and on the command of his Queen he travelled the globe, which by the way is round not flat as some eejits would have you believe, conquering faraway lands. When he and his men landed on foreign shores’ they arrogantly assumed superiority over the native peoples and treated them, and their homes, with utter disrespect. They pillaged and plundered and took what they desired without a care for the indigenous folks. They then sailed home triumphant with their ships full of stolen goods and waltzed into court where they were feted as heroes. And yet, the truth is that they were little more than dirty criminals.

As time passed legions of holy men hopped on board the ships bound for these conquered colonies hellbent on selling the primitive heathen people foreign religion which was conceived to control and subjugate all common men. Those that refused to cow to the Christian word were summarily despatched to their maker; and so, people cowed to the might of the sword.

Over the years the indigenous folks assimilated into hybrid cultures which emulated their masters and true spiritual belief was lost to the world at large. That is until today when, like the revealing of a banana, there is a mass awakening of my people who, having their eyes peeled, realise that they have, and continue to be manipulated by an elite, that cares not one jot for their wellbeing. Bananas, as tulip bulbs were in the 1600’s to the Dutch people, are currency and King of the elite who keep knowledge to themselves and profligate lies as truth corrupting medicine, education, commerce, banking and all manner of other essential delights.

As your King I have to tread a very fine line, and balance my duties to my Lords, Ladies and people equally. And so, I recently struck a bargain with our maker to shine light on all wrongdoing, both historical and current, in return for an endless supply of bananas. For, on Sunday afternoons, I invite less fortunate souls to my Palace for cucumber sandwiches, banana cake and a rather splendid cup of Lapsang souchong tea!

bunnies love bananas

Have time to read some more? Hop on over HERE…

or,

should you fancy something a tad more serious take your floofy tail over HERE.

paypal donate

This work is my gift to my people but, King or not, I must replenish my coffers. And so, I invite you to show your appreciation by leaving a little something ~ from time to time; for everyone needs to live and, although a humble bunny, I have a liking for fresh asparagus tips with nutty sprinkles!

Bunny Balls to Gender

bunny balls to gender

The other day I was chillaxing with my better half, Queen Niddy – the white Queen, when we started to argue about which gender, male or female, was of greater importance. My wife in her queenly wisdom told me to shut up when I refused to allow her to speak, for I was hogging the conversation and busily pontificating on the superiority of the male sex. Finally, disgusted with my show of male chauvinism, she thumped her feet, turned and huffily hopped off countering – ‘Bunny balls to gender!’ And I was left alone in my throne room to ponder on my foolishness for, of course, I was wrong!

In my court there is a wise magician whom we call ‘The Man Who Can’ – for he has ancient knowledge and power beyond most mortals. His real name is Nicholas. I have often sat with him, since our chance meeting in the Beech woods on the furthest reaches of my realm, and discussed things of an esoteric nature. It was he who first introduced me to the magical world of alchemy and hermeticism and opened my eyes to truths that most men have long forgotten. Nicholas is an adept: which is to say that he has mastered the 7 Universal Laws of the Universe and is able to transmute energy; he is a true wizard and a welcome addition to my court.

One of the 7 Universal Laws of the Universe is called The Law of Gender and this law quite clearly states that each and every creation is a harmonious blend of both male and female energies – which is to say that to be complete and grounded any, and all, must embrace and fully encompass and express both gender aspects within their being. That is not to say that I must bonk Queen Niddy continuously, like a randy rabbit fixated on expressing my masculinity through carnal relations. No! Rather, I must acknowledge my maleness whilst consciously balancing it with my femaleness. To be a true man one must be in tune with their feminine and to be a true female one must be in tune with their masculine for without both attributes in balance one becomes unbalanced – either too bunny-bonkers aggressive, or too fluffy-bunny soft and candy floss saccharine!

That night, shamefaced – my tail between my legs, I tippy-toed into our bed chamber to find my dear Knitty Niddy sitting up in bed conjuring up some woolly purple bed socks for me! She looked up from her needles, and simply said;

‘George you are fortunate that I am able to express both my female and maleness equally for if not you would have cold feet at night and no one to help you rule the unruly who strive to stir trouble daily. Really dear heart you simply must get The Man Who Can to explain to you again The Law of Gender – or read this HERE,’

she finished, as she handed me her tablet from the bedside table.

queen nidddy

Have time to read some more? Hop on over HERE…

donation

If I, King George, were singing on a street corner would you toss me a few coins for my effort? And now I ask you this rhetorical question – what is the difference between a singer and online content creator except the means of expression? Your patronage is most welcome. xox

 

No One Likes a Know-all

no one like a know all

Have you ever interacted with someone who thinks they know everything whilst in truth they know very little!? No one likes a know-all and yet most indulge them, whereas it would simply be kinder to let them know that they are a know-all and that they would be better served by zipping the lips and listening up!

My own Uncle Charlie used to be a know-all until I cautioned him about his folly several years back.

We were having a royal barbeque in the palace grounds with carrot cutlets and radish relish, and Uncle was living up to his name and being a right Charlie – pontificating on the price of carrots whilst knowing nothing of which he spoke. My guests were politely indulging his nonsense when he ended, with a flourish, by saying;

‘And so, dear ones, you see a carrot is like gold for men who till the land!’

uncle charlie

 

Well I had had enough and decided to intervene. So, cool as a cucumber, one of my favourite snacks, I interceded with;

‘Uncle Charlie, why do you insist upon holding court at my court upon things you know so little about? You are a blessed buffoon who has never worked a day in your life and know nothing of the fields except for frolicking and snoozing in the sunshine. Let me tell you Uncle, a poor man does not see a carrot as gold but as a humble carrot that has taken months to cultivate and will be crunched up and gone within minutes. If this man thought upon his humble veggie as gold he would starve as you would do too, if not for the good grace of this court and my people – for do you not yourself hoard gold under your mattress?’

Shocked my Lords and Ladies gasped for not only was Charlie a right Charlie he was also a miser who claimed poverty and scrounged off of all and sundry!

And so, you may wonder why I air my family’s dirty laundry thus – and it is to simply say:

‘There is no fool greater than the fool that thinks he knows all!’

uncle charlie

Fancy a little more clarity on life? Trot on over HERE then ~ it might be just the ticket!

or,

Too frivolous? bounce on over to HERE then.

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For the price of a cup of weak tea, at a dodgy cafe, you have access to wisecracks and wisdom to enhance your life. Whilst the tea quenches your thirst what I share here nourishes your soul. Please feel free to help me continue my work!

 

When Rabbits Hop

when rabbits hop

There is nothing more joyful than a silly moment hopping for the sheer delight of feeling the wind whistle through my ears and when rabbits hop it creates wonderful energy for those who witness this stupidity.

 

Life can be a serious affair and to embrace your silly is not silly, and, in point of fact, the person that frowns upon the silly is actually silly bunny balls, with bells – which reminds me of a drunken night out, with my leaping lords, and a tale simply too sordid to recount here!

king george the oracle bunny

Never Judge a Book by it’s Cover

never judge a book by its cover

To be honest the phrase ‘Never Judge a Book by its Cover’ is a fine colloquialism indeed, for I, King George The Oracle Bunny, have found the most tasty books to nibble are usually the ones with the least inspiring covers!

never judge a book by its's cover

As an oracle I predict that should you follow my example you too may be surprised by the delights within a package all too easily dismissed, by the majority of my people, as unappealing.

I am a Monarch and, as such, have an adoring entourage who fawn and lick my toosh but my team in The Higher Angelic Realms always tell it to me straight! They say:

‘King George you are appointed by God to do his bidding and look after the people but, really dear fellow, you must stop destroying books for they are creative endeavour packaged neatly for intellectual consumption and are not intended as a noble, idle snack!’

king george the oracle bunny

Hey how ’bout giving this post HERE the once over?!

Or for the more serious amongst us – Hop on over HERE…

donation

If I, King George, were singing on a street corner would you toss me a few coins for my effort? And now I ask you this rhetorical question – what is the difference between a singer and online content creator except the means of expression? Your patronage is most welcome. xox